Do you punish yourself?
KUTHUMI: You know that this is part of your evolutionary process. It has been spoken of many, many times. Yet some of you remain stubborn and hold onto victim mentality of anguish and pain. My friend, I tell you there is no need, no reason to do this. It is you choosing to punish yourself in this manner. Further, I tell you your soul weeps. I say again, it is you who chooses to hold on, who chooses not to heal, chooses not to seek healing assistance, chooses to stay locked in a self made prison of pain and bitterness.
http://spiritlibrary.com/kuthumi-school-of-wisdom/transform-your-reactions-to-quantum-reactions
Let the past go and forgive yourself.Lighten your load of negativity.That weighs your light body down.Similar to the effects gravity has on your physical body.Let it go and ascend with Earth/Gaia.Float free without anything negative to ground you.In a negative reality and realise this is your chance.To transform that negative reality into a positive one.The eternal ever present now of simltaneous time.Allows you to unburden yourself of the restrcitions of a timeline construct.To exist freely in a unconditional loving realm of timelessness.